Again and Again
Long ago in the mid 2000’s I started a blog. Then I started a photography business. Then I started a podcast. Then I got scared. I closed my photography business. I ended my podcast. I shut down my blog. I disappeared as best I could.
It was quiet. It was lonely. It was liberating. It was invigorating. I reflected deeply on the person I was, am, and who I’d like to be. I learned a lot about myself.
After taking about five years (really, I can’t believe it’s been that long...) off from sharing my life, I’ve decided to come back. Hello again!
I’m not sure if I was scared that I wouldn’t meet all of the goals I set forth for myself (there were so many; I met some, not others). I’m not sure if hitting mid-life is causing me to have a crisis... but something struck a nerve that found me narrowing my circle inward tightly and shutting out the world for some time now.
The good thing is that taking those years, and that time to myself has given me an absolute appreciation for connection with others. I’ve also become way more curious about everyone around me and their stories and experiences.
Up until this past year (2024) began, I was floundering trying to figure out how to widen my circle once again. I closed myself off to so many people, not in a negative way, just a quiet shy way. I explored a sheltered private life for awhile. I was afraid for months now that I had lost all I had built over the decades of connection. Maybe no one would want to be my friend again. That I had nothing left to offer...
Then I just started being more open. I was vulnerable at times. I shared my real self, not a persona I had built. I chose to start 2024 being my own best friend. Find inside what I was seeking outside for so long.
I offered my insights, taught others what I was learning, joked and reflected on a daily basis. Now it seems that my circle is ever expanding. I have been reconnecting and it feels kind of nice. Sure, I may not have that tv circle of best friends, but I have friends who are the best at accepting me for me.
With all of that said, I am returning to writing. I am returning to photography (not business, but just taking more photos), and I am considering a return to podcasting. I want to talk to people. I want to learn from people. I want to share what I’ve learned. And I want to keep on reflecting on what life has thrown me and how I’m going to hit the ball back.
Thanks for sticking around. My plan this time is not to demolish what I’ve built when I get scared, but to just take some quiet time, let things lie and then return again and again.
Thank you for retuning again and again.
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